We are in the heart of the 2024 holiday season and many of us are attempting a delicate balancing act: honoring the pain of our grief while participating in a world that seems focused on celebration. In my work at Conscious Crossroads I've helped guide seven more people through their final transitions this year; I had the honor of being present for five of those deaths. That's five more families and friend groups who are in fresh grief right now. I also have many current clients who are aware that this may be their last holiday season and are striving to make it special, while also holding space for their own anticipatory grief.
Something I find myself reminding friends, family, and clients of during this time; holding both gratitude and grief is a delicate balance, but it’s possible to navigate the season with both emotions in your heart. Here are some reflections I’ve shared in the hopes of providing guidance and comfort for those who are grieving but also trying to engage in holiday traditions.
The air may be filled with festive decorations, bustling shopping malls, and a sense of joy & gratitude. But for many, the holidays bring an entirely different experience—one colored by grief. By honoring your grief, practicing self-compassion, and acknowledging the small moments of joy, you can create a holiday season that is both meaningful and healing. This holiday season, please allow yourself to feel what you need to feel—grief, gratitude, or anything in between—and remember that your emotions are not something to rush through, but something to be honored.
A powerful tip for honoring grief during the holidays is to create a meaningful ritual in remembrance of your loved one. This could be as simple or elaborate as feels right for you. For example, you might:
Light a candle in their memory each day or during a specific holiday gathering.
Share a favorite memory or story about them with loved ones, keeping their spirit alive in conversation.
Cook a meal or bake a recipe they loved, savoring it as a way to connect with them.
Write a letter to your loved one expressing your feelings, sharing what you miss, and what you’re thankful for.
The idea is to make the ritual personal and intentional, allowing you to acknowledge your grief while also celebrating the love and memories you shared. This act not only honors their memory but can provide you with a sense of comfort and a way to hold space for both the sorrow and the warmth of the season.
I believe the key to holding both gratitude and grief is to acknowledge that both are valid. Too often, we feel pressure to "put on a happy face" during the holidays, especially when everyone around us seems to be in the festive spirit. But grief doesn’t take a holiday, and it’s okay to feel sorrow, anger, or even numbness while others are celebrating.
When grief feels overwhelming, it can be hard to see anything to be thankful for. Finding gratitude doesn’t mean you have to force happiness or ignore your grief. It’s about recognizing the small, often unnoticed gifts that are still present in your life; quiet moments of peace, a kind gesture from a friend, or the warmth of a cup of tea. Gratitude is about perspective—choosing to see the light in the midst of the darkness, no matter how faint it may seem.
Tip: Every day, try to identify one thing, however small, that you’re grateful for. This could be something as simple as a conversation with a friend, the beauty of a winter landscape, or a memory that brings a smile to your face. These moments help create a sense of balance between the grief you carry and the gratitude you nurture.
This holiday season I'm extremely grateful for the success of Conscious Crossroads and I'd like to thank all of my clients for their trust and vulnerability; I don't take it lightly. It is an honor to be allowed into your families and welcomed into some of your most cherished and intimate moments. I also want to honor all of you who are doing the challenging inner work of holding grief and gratitude at once. I hold you all in my heart this holiday season and beyond.
-Death Doula Danielle
Below you'll find some more resources to help you process grief, prepare for death, plan for memorials and even explore a calling to work at the beside of the dying.
May you have a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year!
Join Chelsea Waves, Death Doula & Grief Companion for a transformative six-week journey as she helps participants dive into the realm of dreams and their profound capacity to aid in healing grief. The group's shared intention is to honor any form of grief and foster a renewed relationship with those who have transitioned through the power of our dreams. Whether you've just begun to explore the mysteries of your dreams or have been engaged with them for years, this workshop welcomes all.
SUPPORT GROUP DETAILS
6 Online Zoom Gatherings with death doula and grief companion Chelsea Waves
Tuesdays: January 7th - February 11th
5:00 – 6:00 pm PT / 8:00 – 9:00 pm ET
A maximum of 12 participants – Limited Availability!
$299 includes all six sessions
Participants will receive a Zoom link at least 48 hours before the first gathering.
Please reach out to kelsey@clairebidwellsmith.com with questions.
Important Notes: Sessions will not be recorded in order to respect privacy. Participants are not required to attend every week but we recommend attending regularly for the best experience.
Event by The HeartLight Center
Join us for a special day of remembrance with Gabaldon Mortuary. Create luminaria bags to honor loved ones and connect with others in a warm, supportive community.
Tuesday, December 24th from 10am-2pm at Gabaldon Mortuary
A 12-Week Online Training with Andrew Holecek and guests.
A three-month online interactive training on spiritual and practical preparations for death. This unique program provides an accessible and integrated exploration of a rich and complete cycle of teachings and practices to help you get ready for the end of life.
Cost is $899
Live sessions begin March 19th, 2025 (8 PM ET) and occur weekly for 12 weeks. Full recordings will be available.
Other pricing options:
Early Bird Price: $799
Purchase by Midnight (MDT) on February 18th, 2025
Patron Price: $1,099
To help others attend
Installment Price: 2 payments of $455/month
One payment at registration and one payment 30 days later.
Partial Scholarships are Available for $299
Empowering compassionate farewells by simplifying funeral planning and connecting families with trusted providers.
I'm proud to announce that Conscious Crossroads End of Life Services is now listed as a preferred provider on the new end of life & memorial planning website Keys2Eternity.com.
Keys 2 Eternity strives to make funeral planning as straightforward and stress-free as possible. Their easy to navigate platform allows you to find reputable end of life and funeral providers quickly and efficiently.
With a curated directory of trusted professionals, you can rest assured that you'll connect with providers who genuinely care about honoring your loved one with the utmost respect.
Engaging with topics like death, dying, loss, and grief can be incredibly transformative, both for individuals and for communities. By fostering open dialogue and creating a supportive space, we are helping people navigate these complex experiences with greater understanding and compassion. We hold events ranging from Death Cafes to Estate Planning Workshops and all matter of items in between. Join the MeetUp group to stay connected to the Albuquerque Death Curious community.
In-Person Workshop with Death Doulas Danielle Slupesky & Brooke Nutting
Space is Limited - Registration is Required
$80 Investment
Date & Time: Saturday, January 11th from 9 AM - 12 PM
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